by Nancy Werking Poling

author of OUT OF THE PUMPKIN SHELL

Humankind shared a common language—until a group decided to build a great city and a great tower, an action God sabotaged by confusing their communication. The story of the Tower of Babel has been used to explain why the earth is inhabited by people who speak different languages.

Women, too, once spoke a common language.

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There was a time when sorrow was the language that connected women. Some held the hands of sisters and friends as they died at childbirth. Many wept at the graves of their children taken by disease or hunger. Those who did not lose sisters or friends or children still grasped the horror and mourned with women who survived.

Wars claimed the lives of husbands, brothers, sons. Women’s homes were invaded, their bodies raped. Those who did not witness war still grasped its horror and mourned with women who survived.

Yes, it used to be that women everywhere understood the language of sorrow.

Then some migrated, found a place to the west. There they said to one another, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a tower that extends to the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves so that our wealth will be recognized over all the earth.”

When they had built the city and the tower, the women said among themselves, “See what great feats we are able to do.”

But God looked down upon the city and its tower and said, “Look, those women have built this grand city and think they have made a name for themselves. But they have forgotten the language that used to connect them to others. They no longer recognize the sorrow of those who lose sisters and friends at childbirth. They are not longer familiar with the agony of women who weep at the graves of children who have died of disease or hunger. They no longer understand women whose homes are invaded, their bodies raped when war spreads over their land.”

For that reason God named the city Babel, which means confused.

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Saturday is International Women’s Day. In Half the Sky Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn make the case that developing countries can most be helped by educating girls and supporting women’s entrepreneurial efforts. They list “Four Steps You Can Take in the Next Ten Minutes,” the first being “Go to www.globalgiving.org.” I just donated, designating that the money go as a business loan to Nicaraguan women. Please join me in responding to women’s needs in distant countries.

Also check out Kristof’s blog: http://kristof.blogs.nytimes.com/author/nicholas-kristof/

Travel with Pomegranates: A Mother-Daughter Story

It was by chance I came across Travel with Pomegranates by Sue Monk Kidd and Ann Kidd Taylor over the weekend. Since I am working on my next book with my daughter Lisa, also a mother-daughter journey, I started reading it right away. I couldn’t put it down. I pushed my own writing aside and re-arranged my other activities so I could keep my nose in the book.

I was very touched by the deep level of reflection both Sue and Ann demonstrated. They each embarked on a journey of self-discovery: coming to terms with aging for Sue and finding a direction/vocation for Ann. The first-person narrative shifted seamlessly between the two, and the writing, beautiful. On several occasions, I was so moved that I found tears running down my face. What touched me most was the mother’s awareness of her distance from her daughter and her attempt to shorten it, meanwhile, learning to let her child go; and the daughter’s understanding of her mother and the love and trust she placed in her mother, despite her own fierce pursuit for independence.

The story, however, almost presented a perfect mother-daughter relationship—no direct conflicts, no misunderstanding, no resentment. They were both angels! A teenager’s coming of age, a young woman sinking into depression, an ambitious career woman pursuing her writing dream. Could such a relationship be realistic? Or is it glossed over? I wonder. It may not be their focus or intention to deal with their conflicts, but as woman reader and a mother, seeing the subtitle “a mother-daughter story”, I would have loved it better if it had addressed more of their relationship and the process of revelation over the years—how they grow closer and form a deeper bonding by their joint exploration.

Nevertheless, I highly recommend this book to mothers and daughters. Actually I went to a bookstore today and bought a copy for my daughter and another copy for a close friend.  

Jian Ping, author of Mulberry Child: A Memoir of China. visit www.moraquest.com, www.mulberrychild.com

Helene Hegemann, From an Article - Berliner Zeitung

In the rapidly changing world of the internet, streaming, blogging, Kindle, and instant headlines, it appears that what was considered unforgivable sins in the literary world of the past, is now acceptable technique.  I read an interesting article in the Sunday New York Times by Randy Kennedy on the modern view of plagiarism.

Over the past hundred years or so in modern literature from around the world, copying passages from another author was unforgivable.   But now, a new sensational German teenage novelist, Helene Hegemann, has been named as a finalist for a prestigious literary prize for her book about Berlin’s club scene.  The announcement prompted a blogger and another novelist to inform the world in general that Ms. Hegemann had included chunks of other people’s work in her book. When faced with these accusations, she announced that appropriating passages from other people’s books had always been her plan.  So, there was not the usual remorse on being accused of plagiarism.

Ms. Hegemann’s claim is that she believes that she has the right to use anything at hand to help her in her creative process, and she believes that her generation, bombarded with instant resources of information, should take advantage of the information age and not be bothered about original sources.  So far not unexpectedly, her ideas of communal creativity is not shared by either those from whom she has borrowed, or the literary world in general.

There are those who will argue that “borrowing” prose, ideas, and historical announcements, has been the foundation of writing throughout the centuries, and many in Ms. Hegemann’s generation will argue that creative writing is years behind other creative arts, who appropriate ideas, scenes and real life props into their work.

There are of course legitimate arguments in this area, particularly in the visual arts of, say, Andy Warhol’s use of a Campbell’s soup can, the pirating of classical music for modern pop, and many a legal battle has been fought over plagiarism in the literary world.. 

Sometimes, the use of other people’s writings or information is hard to avoid.  I personally was extremely upset when Doris Kearns Goodwin, whose historical biographies I had always enjoyed, was accused of plagiarism in her writings about Roosevelt.  When one is writing either fact or fiction, it is sometimes difficult to know whether thoughts that are written down are original or are based on something one has read or heard in the past.

There is going to be a considerable amount of soul searching on these issues from an ethics and legal point of view.  My personal view is that to attach your name to any literary work provides you with an obligation to be responsible for its creative originality. 

Ellis M. Goodman, author of Bear Any Burden: www.bearanyburden.com

Introduction Video

Thank you.

This past week I was asked to guest blog for Courage Network (http://www.couragenetwork.com/home.html) on the subject of religious faith and domestic violence. As readers of OUT OF THE PUMPKIN SHELL know, the book, though it starts out funny, also deals with the serious issue of emotional abuse.

Following is what I wrote for Courage Network:

It seemed natural for Linda to take her personal problems to her pastor. He listened kindly as she described her husband’s quick temper, the way he sometimes got so mad he hit her and bruised her body. Linda needed to hear someone say, “This is wrong. God intends that the relationship between husband and wife be one of mutual respect.”

Instead, the pastor said, “Go home and try not to anger him. Jesus set an example for us: that we are to suffer for his sake. God will not give you any more to bear than you can handle.” Then Linda and her pastor knelt and prayed.

Our faith should be a source of empowerment and healing. Yet churches have more often than not failed women who live with domestic violence. Some ministers preach that divorce is a sin, or that a woman is to obey her husband. Sometimes members, refusing to accept the truth that abuse occurs in Christian homes, ignore signs that women or children in the congregation are being abused, physically or emotionally. “What happens in a family is that family’s business,” church people may say.

In Victim to Survivor: Women Recovering from Clergy Sexual Abuse, Et Al (as she chose to be called for reasons of anonymity) says of her childhood, “People knew of my father’s drinking and physically abusive behavior, but no one intervened or said his actions were wrong….Mama tolerated his verbal and physical abuse. She coped by trying to ignore it and sought comfort in reading Scripture or listening to the radio evangelist extol the redemptive power of suffering.”

It might seem that the church, the entire Christian tradition itself, is not to be trusted with victims’ pain. But that is not necessarily true. Within many religious bodies, attitudes about the abuse of women and children have begun to change. Clergy are being trained to respond with compassion and to assist in finding safety. People of faith are sponsoring hotlines and shelters for women and children living with domestic violence.

Christian groups are bringing new eyes and open minds to passages that have traditionally been used to suppress women. At the same time they are lifting up scriptures that empower victims and help them find healing.

Denominations (Jewish and Islam organizations, as well) have been speaking out against violence in the home, forming task forces, writing official statements, training leaders on how to respond. I am most familiar with what the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) has been doing. In 2001 its General Assembly approved a policy statement on domestic violence, bringing to the denomination’s attention the causes of domestic violence, efforts the church can take to prevent it, and suggestions for ministering to victims. The statement is accompanied by a study guide for individuals and groups (available through http://www.pcusa.org/phewa/resources/resources-padvn.htm).

Because abusers within the Christian tradition have often hidden behind scripture, such as “Wives, be obedient to your husbands,” groups are challenging traditional interpretations. Christians for Biblical Equality deals with abuse issues on its website: (http://www.cbeinternational.org/?q=content/abuse).

FaithTrust Institute (formerly Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence) has for many years provided leadership and materials to the various faith communities: Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Christians. On its website (http://www.faithtrustinstitute.org), FaithTrust says of its mission: “We believe that the teachings of our religious traditions have been a source of pain and confusion as well as a source of strength and healing for those facing sexual and domestic violence.”

These three groups are only a small sample of the many religious bodies speaking to the issue of domestic violence.

What recommendations do I have for victims who are also people of faith? First, don’t think for a minute that God is testing you or has placed you in that situation for a reason. Affirmation can be found in Jeremiah 29:11: “For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.” I believe that God’s intention for us all is that we be part of loving, respectful relationships.

Second, you may want to question your own understanding of scripture. If you’ve been taught that a woman is to obey her husband or that it is her lot to suffer as Jesus suffered, read what Christians for Biblical Equality are saying. Open your mind to alternate interpretations of scripture.

Third, find a spiritual guide. Before you turn to your pastor, consider what clues he/she has provided in sermons about marriage and the relationship between a husband and wife. If the pastor has spoken of the authority of the male and against divorce in general, turn to someone else. My own pastor tells of how often women, seeing a woman’s name on the board in front of the church, come in to seek her counsel because their male pastors have only added to their pain.

My mother once told me that fifty years ago a small circle of women in her church knew that Alice was regularly raped by her husband. They knew that Martha’s husband verbally abused her. From the pulpit the pastor preached that wives were to obey their husbands and that Jesus taught us to forgive seventy times seven. This circle of women, while they felt powerless to take actions that would free Alice and Martha, listened to and offered sympathy to their victimized sisters.

Fifty years ago women were helping each other the best they could. Today many communities have faith-based agencies that can direct victims to local resources, such as a shelter, and offer emotional support.

Yes, it is possible to find empowerment and healing in your faith tradition. The Psalmist speaks to your pain; Jesus suffers with you. Somewhere a pastor, perhaps not the one in your own congregation, has the training and will to accompany you. Somewhere there is a circle of support, women who have walked in your shoes or compassionate people of faith who want to share God’s love.

Nancy Werking Poling
www.nancypoling.com
Author of Out of the Pumpkin Shell

From left to right: Sylvia, Linda, Angela, Vince, me and Steve

Last Friday, I arrived at Brothers K Coffeehouse shortly before 6 P.M. for a poetry reading. I could see the room was full of people through the large windows from the street and was pleased to find Steve Schroeder, a poet and instructor at the University of Chicago, beckoning to me as I walked through the door. Steve had asked me to join him at Rhino’s monthly poetry reading at Brothers K. He had selected four Chinese women’s poems. I would read the Chinese, and he, the English. I said yes without hesitation. Only afterward I became concerned. I had done many book readings before, but never poetry. Not to mention that I am not a poet, and reading poetry is a form of art, a performance.

In fact, I had never been to a poetry recital before. The only experience I had close to it was the last day of my residency at Ragdale, an artist retreat center in Lake Forest, Illinois. Ragdale has a tradition that the artists—writers, poets, and playwrights—read a selection of their work at the end of their residency. There were two poets among the 20 artists during the time I was there. While Rachel, a poet from the Chicago area, read her work which was filled with humor and satire, Eric, a poet from Minnesota, recited his. He stood in front of the group who lounged all over a large living room and gave a stunning performance. He stomped and waved, his voice up and down, faster than a rapping singer. I was mesmerized.

Recalling the impact Eric’s recital on me, I used my early morning exercise time on the treadmill or elliptical machine to recite the poems. I had not tried to memorize a poem since I was a child and was surprised how easily the four poems registered in my mind. Their rhythms, flow of words, and unique structure seemed to sing on their own.

The poetry recital started with open mike. Then Steve and I began the scheduled program. I joked about my relief to see that there was no other Chinese among the audience, so nobody could tell if I made a mistake. There were approximately 50 people in the Coffeehouse, with 10 or so standing in the back. I was totally surprised by the full attention from them as I recited the poems in Chinese—their eyes gazed into mine, and the room was so quiet that I could hear a pin drop. I stumbled once and had to take a look at the printout of a poem, and later, read the eight stanza classic poem by Yu Xuanji, a Tang Dynasty poet. Steve followed me with the English version.  

We sat back and enjoyed the rest of the recital in the evening. Sylvia Shirley Malinton, Linda Kelsey, and Angela Narciso Torres, together with Vince Nguyen, did their bilingual reading in English and Javanese, Arabic, and Tagalog respectively. I had never heard poems in languages I didn’t know before and was surprised by the joy of focusing purely on the sound, the musical ring of the words and their rhythms in their original form. What an eye-opening and delightful experience!

I thanked Steve, Ralph Hamilton and Moira Sullivan of Rhino for the wonderful evening. And yes, I readily agreed with Steve that I would love to do it again.     

Jian Ping, author of Mulberry Child: A Memoir of China. www.mulberrychild.com, www.moraquest.com

Naperville's Riverwalk

By Jian Ping

I’ve been to several special interest groups and women’s book clubs in the greater Chicago area recently. Each group has its unique characteristics, with women at different ages and backgrounds which play a key role in the questions they raise about my book or China in general. When I met with a group of 20+ women from Pan Pacific Southeast Asia Women’s Association (Chicago chapter) at my friend Jerilyn’s home, I was very impressed to see two elder women in their late 80s and early 90s among the audience.

The women’s book club I went to yesterday was in Naperville, a western suburb of Chicago where I used to live for a decade. Cynthia, the hostess of the club for the month, reached me via my book website at www.mulberrychild.com and asked if it would be possible for me to join them in their discussion about Mulberry Child. I readily agreed—I had always enjoyed direct contacts with my readers. I fought the rush hour traffic from Chicago to the suburb and was pleased to make it to Cynthia’s home by 7 P. M., right on time. I was very touched by Cynthia’s hospitality. I learned that the club usually meet once a month over snacks at members’ homes. But in honor of a book about China and my appearance in person, Cynthia followed a recipe of northeastern Chinese cuisine that she clipped from the New York Times and cooked a full meal. Stir-fried lamb with green onion, eggplant with potato and green pepper, cucumber and cilantro salad and rice, completed with a Chinese cake and fruit jello she bought from an Asian bakery. I couldn’t have cooked such a large, authentic Chinese dinner myself! On top of that, she bought Tsingtao Beer imported from China to accompany the meal!

Twelve of the book club members, a guest brought by a member, and I relished the delicious food and enjoyed a lively discussion for more than three hours!

I received a lovely thank you note from Cynthia today, saying I was the first author to meet with the group over their 15-year history and how appreciative they all were for my time with them. I wanted to say to her and each of the members at the club, the pleasure and appreciation are all be mine. I was honored and delighted to have met and talked with each of them. In fact the atmosphere was so lovely that I felt like I had known them for a long time as friends. Cynthia, Marcia, Linda, Jill, Barb, Chris, Marita, Margaret, Cindy, Marlene, and Joan, my heartfelt thanks to you all for your interest in my story and in China.   

Jian Ping, author of Mulberry Child: A Memoir of China. www.mulberrychild.com, www.moraquest.com

An image grab taken from hotel surveillance camera footage, released by Dubai Police, allegedly shows two murder suspects dressed as tourists in tennis outfits.

In my espionage novel, “Bear Any Burden,” set in Poland in 1983, Sir Alex Campbell and Anna Kaluza, working for the British Secret Intelligence Services (MI6) were helping Professor Erik Keller, a world-renowned nuclear physicist to defect to the West.  MI6 had provided Alex Campbell with false passports for Professor and Mrs. Keller.  These were stamped and dog-eared documents that raised no questions when crossing borders.

In the recent assassination in Dubai of a Hamas official, Mahmoud al-Mabhouh, eleven suspects traveling under European passports are being sought.  In this intriguing but inexplicable assassination, we have been told that the alleged assassins were traveling under legitimate passports – stolen or illegally created – from British, Irish and French citizens.  In today’s world, a false passport is unlikely to pass border security.  The swiping of passport identification sets up an immediate world-wide response which would highlight any irregularities. Thus, the use of legitimate citizen’s passport information is essential if would-be assassins are to move from country to country.

There are however a number of intriguing questions relating to this assassination.  If, as has been alleged, this was an Israeli Secret Service (Mossad) action, it appears to have been a very heavy-handed one. Why were eleven people necessary to carryout, what appears to be a simple killing of an unprotected individual?  Why was this well-known alleged Hamas terrorist and arms supplier traveling without bodyguards?  Why did the Israelis resort to crude disguises, knowing that surveillance cameras were everywhere?  What was the objective of having disguises in the first place? Knowing that the hotel, airport and other areas would have surveillance cameras, why were the alleged assassins so casual appearing before those cameras with their target?  When did the assassins leave the hotel?  Was it the day of the assassination or the following morning?  Given all the surveillance cameras located at the hotel and airport, which flights did the assassins take out of the country – individually or collectively – and where did they go?

On the face of it, given the sophistication and reputation of Mossad, if they are indeed the perpetrators, the mission was handled very ineptly.  Perhaps the Israelis underestimated the capabilities of the Dubai police in tracking down their operatives, or maybe the Israelis wanted the world to know that they can reach out and assassinate Hamas and other terrorists.

Finally, Hamas are now asserting that two former officers from the rival Fatah organization were involved in the assassination.  We’re told that the Dubai police have two unidentified Palestinians in custody in connection with the killing.  So perhaps, this was not a Mossad operation at all, but yet another Palestinian faction fight. 

There are a lot of unanswered questions and we may never know the truth.  However, as is often the case, fact can be stranger than fiction.

Ellis M. Goodman, author of Bear Any Burden: www.bearanyburden.com

Lindsey Vonn

I watched the Winter Olympic Games on television most of the time last night. From Shani Davis’ gold in men’s 1000 meters to Lindsey Vonn’s resilient win. Truly phenomenal and inspiring performances! Lindsey’s emotional outpour after her win said everything about the pains and challenges she had overcome to reach to the top podium.

What touched me, however, were not just the winners. I watched with great concern and shock as the TV screen revealed one hard fall, then another, on the women’s downhill race. These athletes practiced and dreamed about this moment for years and pushed themselves to the limit. It was hard for me to imagine skiing down that long, steep track at a speed of 85 miles per hour, or at certain points, even over 90 miles per hour. Any error at such high speed could trigger a spin off, and any crash at such high speed could be life threatening. Yet, despite a total of six falls, the athletes took their stands and flew down the mountain. What a spirit!

I watched the re-run of these images of triumph and disappointments early on TV earlier this morning when I was working out in the fitness room. I found myself moving faster and pushing harder on the elliptical machine and added a few more sit-ups on the bench. I know the aspiration, persistence and achievements of these athletes will inspire me in my daily endeavors, big or small, for a long time.

Jian Ping, author of Mulberry Child: A Memoir of China. www.mulberrychild.com, www.moraquest.com

St. Thomas Students

I went to Fairfield, CT the last week of January and gave a talk at the St. Thomas Catholic School and the Fairfield Ludlowe High School. It was my second time to visit both schools and the children at St. Thomas I had met last year seemed to have grown much taller. Ms. Sousa and Ms. Kral from the two schools extended the most hospitality to me, on a day when Connecticut was hit by a snowstorm.

Last year, Ms. Kral from St. Thomas sent me a note from each of the students, telling me what they had learned from my talk. They were honest and sweet and touched my heart. Over the weekend, I was very pleased to receive another thick envelope from St. Thomas. I read each of their letters carefully and thumbed through the color pictures and drawings they included. These notes were from students from 6^th to the 8^th grades. They each picked up different messages from my talk, but their straightforwardness and interest in learning about the life and culture of another country impressed me. I think nothing can speak louder than the selections of a few quotes directly from them:  

  “The last and most important thing I learned from your talk was that you should never give up or stop learning no matter what people think or do. You are an inspiring author and I hope you can come back to our school again.”     

                                                 Chris                                                                                                                       Chris,

“I never noticed it (the map of China) was shaped like a chicken. I think that’s really cool! … Thank you again for coming and teaching us about current china. I learned a lot of things you just can’t look up on the internet or find in a text book.”

                                                                                                Liam

“I can relate to you in struggling times because when I was four years old my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She put on a happy face which made me happy also. Your positive attitude showed me that anything has a happy side. My mother did survive cancer and she survived it with a very positive attitude just like you.”

                                                                                                Caroline

“Thank you so much for coming to our school and giving us a wonderful speech on China. I thought it was just an incredible experience you had in your childhood. You inspire me to really enjoy my childhood, and be thankful for what I have.”

                                                                                                Juliana

“I liked how you compared China now to China when you were living there. I also liked the pictures on your slide show.
                                                                                                James

“I think I speak for all of us when I give you a full-hearted thank you for coming in and telling us your story. We also may want to read your book and if it becomes a movie, we will all want to see it.”

                                                                                                Sean, 7^th Grade

“It is interesting to learn about other cultures and ways of life, I would like to experience them one day for myself. I am half Chinese from my dad’s side of the family. However we do not celebrate Chinese traditions other than Chinese New Year…. I really want to learn more about my culture though, and hope to become more in touch with my Chinese ancestry.”

                                                                                                Sean, 8^th Grade

 Jian Ping, author of Mulberry Child: A Memoir of China. For more information, visit www.mulberrychild.com, www.moraquest.com