Death, Dying, and Green Sprigs
By Nancy Werking Poling
author of Out of the Pumpkin Shell
Taking a break from sitting at my computer (I hesitate to suggest I was writing, as I spent most of the time staring at the screen), I wandered around the wooded lot of our new home. The builder conscientiously worked at destroying as few trees as possible. Our lot slopes, so in spite of the crew’s efforts, roots were disturbed, trunks scarred, branches broken.
As I walked around I noticed two trees that did not come back to life this spring. Their branches are leafless, yet in a few places along the trunks clusters of green sprigs erupt. Though these trees are practically dead, they cling to life.
In South Korea I frequently saw old decrepit trees being supported by wires. I recall that in a busy sector of Seoul the sidewalk made a detour around one. A plaque identified it as a National Treasure. In the U.S., I know, the tree would have been cut down long ago, partly because it stood in the way of progress, partly because its condition demanded time and money more effectively spent elsewhere. Whether trees or people are involved, Koreans have a quite different attitude about age than we do.
As I consider the trees on our lot and ones in Korea, I am reminded of how my mother-in-law is tenaciously holding on to life. At ninety-eight, she is blind and deaf and has been hospitalized twice in the past six months, both times with infections that would kill many younger people. While we were moving, the clothes for her funeral were in a garment bag, ready for us to grab should she die while our circumstances felt so disorganized. Yet she holds on to life, telling my brother-in-law not long ago that she still has “things to do.”
We often hear of costs incurred in the later years. Old people are expensive, requiring extra care and medical procedures. Without being direct, we imply that there comes a time when it’s better to quit offering medical treatment.
Yes, I’m sure my mother-in-law’s care has cost insurers and hospitals dearly. But who is to say that her life isn’t worth living anymore? Perhaps she does have more to do, more thoughts and memories to sort out before she dies.
Like the two trees in my yard, she sends out sprigs of green, holding on to life as tightly as she can.
Tags: age & culture, death & dying, Korea, life, medical costs
July 25th, 2010 at 8:54 am
I really like this, Nancy. I think you captured the meaning of Grandma Poling’s tenacity and life spirit.
July 25th, 2010 at 2:41 pm
Nancy,
Another good article that you have written. The same as my 100 year old that Rich and I oversee. She takes no medicine was hospitalized for 2days with a urinary infection the first time in 30 years that I know of. She reads without glasses. Each morning has big smile on her face. How could anyone mistreat or think of not trying to keep these gems alive as long as possible.
Mike
July 25th, 2010 at 9:24 pm
I love the idea of the sidewalk going round the tree. May we learn to live our lives more that way, rather than trying to blindly forge ahead running over priceless, irrecoverable beauty.
July 26th, 2010 at 8:48 am
I agree with your conclusion. We have much to learn from the Asian respect for life and age.
Nancy
July 26th, 2010 at 8:50 am
Thanks for reading and commenting on my post, Christy.
July 26th, 2010 at 8:55 am
Trudy,
My brain is churning up something about the topic of beauty–how little reverence our culture has for it. I think it will be in my next blog.
Nancy
July 26th, 2010 at 6:55 pm
YES, Nancy! So very thought-provoking–and appropriate, in that your piece speaks to a chapter in a book I’m diving through just now–Simply Christian.
In it, Wright speaks to us about the “voice of God” calling us to do justice and love kindness–especially in our relationships, including that with our earth.
He causes us to reflect on God’s beauty and to KNOW that He will complete
His work with our help–such as appreciating a tree growing in a sidewalk
and sprigs of green LIFE in and around us, including your mother-in-law.
How succinct you are. Keep these pieces coming, please!
August 1st, 2010 at 9:09 pm
Your insightful writing about life brought tears to my eyes. How are we to know what another has yet to do, (your mother in law) to think, to love, to wonder, to send out more green sprigs. My neighbor is almost 90 with stage four cancer, a full time care taker and a doctor who has told her she only had 6 months to live more than 6 months ago. She continues to say that she has things to do, people to see, advice to give, another day to praise God on the earth…..and the green sprigs keep growing.
August 3rd, 2010 at 2:50 pm
I think this conversation is connected with my next blog (about time), which I plan to send out in a few minutes. Thanks for reading my stuff and offering feedback.
August 3rd, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Bonnie, I appreciate your feedback. It’s good to know someone is reading what I send out.
August 18th, 2010 at 11:04 am
I’m glad you found this blog post helpful. But I’m not an expert on the subject, just writing my thoughts.
Nancy
January 2nd, 2011 at 5:17 pm
Thanks, Solar Panel Guy. It sounds like you’re concerned about the environment too. I hope you’ll also read my latest post about “Christmas and the Death of Beauty.” It’s related to our conversation.